Nailing The Bedtime Routine
Parents often struggle with battles at bedtime. There can be quite a few factors affecting this and it is always worth considering whether your little one is either overtired or not tired enough, both of which could lead to a resistance to sleep. Regardless of other causes, there are a few basics that can really help families to follow.
So what are the key factors for a great bedtime routine?
Don’t go backwards - once you leave the play area or downstairs for bedtime don’t go back there. It sends a signal that they can keep playing, as opposed to winding down for the day.
Consistency - try and keep the same pattern in the same order each night. Children love predictability so not only does a consistent pattern give them comfort in knowing what’s next but they feel more in control as they can preempt the next step.
Timing: set the bedtime - going to sleep at a set time each evening helps to stabilise the circadian rhythm (which is an amazingly accurate 24 hour clock). The circadian rhythm controls hormone production relating to sleep and will naturally produce melatonin (the sleepy hormone) at the start of the evening. If melatonin is being produced at the same time each night then it should make bedtime easier and reinforce the circadian rhythm consistency.
Not too bright! Reduce exposure to blue light - blue light inhibits melatonin production. Melatonin starts being produced two hours before bed, therefore it is advisable to avoid TV, ipads, laptops (really any blue light emitting devices) in the two hours before bed. Regular lights also have a similar effect, so dimming the lights in the run up to bedtime can also be helpful.
How long? 30 - 40 minute bedtime routine - this is age dependent (if you have a 2 month old you might be looking at a 5 minute routine) but generally over 6 months the bedtime routine should be 30-40 minutes. This gives adequate time for the child to calm down and get ready for bed but isn’t so long that they start getting excitable again.
Food: healthy supper - I hate to seem like I’m telling you how to suck eggs, but sugar or caffeine at dinner may affect bedtime. Best thing you can do is offer a balanced dinner with complex carbohydrates, proteins and vegetables and I would suggest having dinner about 2 hours before bed which gives your little one adequate time to digest their food.
Don’t rush - from age 2+, if you are rushing any of the stages your little one will most likely pick up on this, resist anything you want them to do and it ends up taking longer. If you are running out of time try to shorten the steps, rather than rush through them (for example pick a shorter book).
What are the typical components of a bedtime routine?
Milk (if relevant) - you could do milk before or after the bath but I would suggest doing it reasonably early in the routine as it gives you a chance to brush your little one’s teeth before bed and reduces the chance of your little one falling asleep during the feed.
Bath - a warm bath is best as you cool down when you get out, this drop in body temperature is a natural signal to the body that it’s bedtime.
Brush teeth (once they have teeth) - even though they are milk teeth, brushing regularly is setting up good oral hygiene for the rest of their lives. This could be done in the bath if you are having to cope with multiple children, as you know your child is contained.
Wee in the toilet (once potty trained) - you could do this after the bath or just before bed. After the bath means you don’t have to return to the bathroom once you’ve gone to the bedroom which reduces the opportunity for your little one to mess around or run off.
Book(s) - are such a fantastic way to connect with your little one, have closeness with them on your lap and develop their language skills. They are never too young to be read to!
Nappy change/massage - again a massage is a really great way to connect with your little ones. Often they LOVE it! A mere mention of cream to my children and they are straight on the floor sticking their foot out at me.
Lullaby or sign off phrase - making the last three things in a routine consistent every night is a really good indicator that it’s bedtime. Sing a quick song or say the same thing as you put them in bed and leave the room.
Having a solid and consistent bedtime routine should get embedded with children over time. The more embedded it becomes the easier it is to vary other factors such as who puts them down or where they go down (eg. for holidays).
Above all - stay calm and try to enjoy a lovely and structured part of the day.
Happy Sleeping!
Katie Venn
